Going through a divorce is never a pleasant process. However, for couples who have children together, the legalities of divorce can get even messier and complicated. If you and your ex have decided that share custody of the children, it’s now up to you to decide how you want your children to split their time. This arrangement usually comes in the form of a parenting plan. However, since you and your ex previously haven’t been able to agree or get along about things, coming to a compromise might be difficult with the parenting plan as well. So to help make this whole process a little easier on everyone, here are three tips for figuring out a parenting plan with your ex.
Think About The Kids First
While you might want to have your children spend all their time with you, it’s important that you think about what’s truly going to be best for your kids when creating the parenting plan. According to Jennifer Wolf, a contributor to VeryWellFamily.com, you should consider how schooling is going to work for your kids and how a certain plan would interrupt this. Also, if you and your ex are going to be living far apart, it doesn’t make sense for your kids to have to spend a big portion of their time traveling between your homes on a regular basis. While this might mean making some sacrifices, you should always try to put your kids’ needs above your own wishes or spite for your partner.
Discuss Any Concerns Up Front
During the creation of the parenting plan is when you should bring up any issues that you think you might have with shared custody. However, keep in mind that something you just don’t like or prefer about your ex isn’t necessarily something that would be relevant as a concern for your children. For example, Steven Fritsch, a contributor to DivorceMag.com, shares that differing parenting styles aren’t something that should be brought up as a concern in a parenting plan. But if your ex has a drug addiction or lives a dangerous lifestyle, this might be something you want to address in this document.
Make A Plan For Holidays And Vacations
One of the hardest parts about putting together your parenting plan will be deciding how to handle holidays and vacations. According to Karen Covy, a contributor to the Huffington Post, you should try your best to be flexible during these times so that your ex will, in turn, be more flexible with you. Try to come up with how thing will work ideally, whether you spend these times all together as a family or have time separated between each parent, and then go from there.
If you’re about to get divorced and you have children, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you in creating the parenting plan for your family.